5/5/07
I haven't posted a blog for a while (for those of you who aren't counting the days) and that has been primarily b/c I have been working my ass off for my big semi-annual meeting I give at work where I talk about my crap on which I work. In fact, I think I have worked myself sick.
Here's how the conversation goes:
Blog reader, a.k.a. you:Jason, I have known you for [years/months/days/hours] and I have never known you to be sick.
Me: Why, yes, this is true b/c I hardly ever get sick--to the point of maybe once a year.
Blog reader, a.k.a. you: Wow, it must be really bad if you are sick.
Me: Yes, in fact it is. I have hardly gotten any sleep and have had hot and cold flashes within minutes of each other. My throat is still sore and I am still not used to the sound of my own cough, since I never hear it.
Blog reader, a.k.a. you: But don't you consider yourself invincible?
Me: Hahaha, I'm glad you remembered that ever since organic chemistry lab in college when I spilled almost everything on myself (and numerous times in grad school) and have not died, that I do in fact consider myself invincible. However, I guess it couldn't have lasted forever.
Blog reader, a.k.a. you: Well, do you think you'll be ok?
Me: yes, I think I am finally getting over it and the probability of me going to the Memphis in May BBQ Cookoff in a couple weeks is down-right willing my body to conquer this thing.
Blog reader, a.k.a. you: I'm glad to hear that. I'll make sure to buy you a beer next time we're out.
By the way, my meeting could have gone better. Not b/c I was sick during it, but b/c my committee wants me to work on an aspect of my project that I do not want to do, all while I am piled higher and deeper (p.h.d.) with the first aspect of my project that is more important to me.
Outside of work and my couch/bed/floor, a.k.a. the real world, I have noticed a couple other things I like/dislike as of late:
Dislike:All the bad driving in Houston. I swear, it's like they don't teach the proper way to work 4-way stops here. Either the people run them and almost kill me (and get the worst "evil eye" from me I have ever given) or they stop and wait and wait and wait and then they only try to go once I get tired of waiting for them and I start driving.
Like: the Dos XX commercials talking about "the most interesting man on Earth" and how he drinks Dos XX when he drinks beer. The radio commercial is better than the TV one, but both are funny.
Dislike: the constant movie sequels. I will see Spiderman (b/c I am a sucker), maybe Borne Ultimatum/28 weeks later, but I will not see Rush Hour 3, Shrek 3, Oceans 13, Pirates or Caribbean 3, new Harry Potter, Fantastic Four 2, Evan Almighty, Hostel 2, Die Hard 4, Resident Evil 3, or whatever else they decide to remake. WTF, hollywood? [Technically Jason here should not be mad at Hollywood, but at the dumbass American movie-going public who refuses to see original stuff, a la Grindhouse, and sets records seeing remakes of the same crap with a new name on it]. By the way, did you know there are 3 more spidermans in the works, along with ANOTHER f-in' Hulk movie remake?!?!?!?!?!
Like:I saw a bird the other day eating fried chicken. Kinda ironical (yes, that is a real word).
Dislike:Companies that do not think about their company names when they create them. There is an electrical company here in Houston called "S&M Electric" and chemical/pumping company called BJ Services. Come on, people!
Well, that's all for now. These bad 2:30 am TV shows won't watch themselves.
-AMF
Sunday, May 6, 2007
randomness exacerbated via pointless deductive reasoning....and stuff
4/12/07
That is not to be confused with inductive reasoning, which uses a specific observation to come to a generalized conclusion.
Anyway......
Hey, how's things? Isn't it funny when people ask questions in a letter or blog, seeing as they won't be answered by the reader? Oh wait, that was a question.
Warren Buffet was officially passed as the #2 richest person in the world by Mexican media mogul Carlos Slim. FYI, he is worth ~$53,000,000,000. Wowwweeee! I was sitting here thinking of what I would do with that kind of money. I could own 53 franchises, a few thousand Chipotle restaurants, the country of Sealand, almost 38,000 Enzo Ferrari's (even though only 400 were made), or my very own city in Montana (maybe the entire state). The first thing I would do is make my feature film that I have had in my head for 10 years and demand that it not be "sequel-ed" or re-made in the future.
I'm having a surprisingly upswing in luck this week. Today I talked to my boss and we decided I will probably defend my thesis circa October 8th, which means the Ph.D. is in sight. By the way, I will be making all of you call me Dr. Dapper (including the one person who already does).
Not only that, but the Astros are playing better, knock on wood.
I also "got the call" I was expecting a couple days ago (if you really need to know and can't figure it out, ask). That was nice.
My best friend from HS is coming into town this weekend and we will be tearing up Houston, including watching Yao score 69 points saturday and the 'stros win game #7 of their current 100-game win streak.
My reactions at work actually "work"-ed yesterday.
Good times, good times...
I'm watching Scrubs right now and I think I am a congenial mix of all the characters, but about 40% Dr. Cox and 30% J.D. If you don't watch Scrubs, you should. It's genius.
To wrap this up, I think when I grow up I want to be Milkman Dan from the best comic strip in the world "Red Meat".
Kudos again to Alex Osborn if he ever reads this for being Milkman Dan at the 2004 Halloween party (I think I was the only one to recognize him and was his lap-dog all night b/c of the original costume).
On second thought, if I had $53 billion, I would be Jack from the Jack-in-the-box commercials. On third thought, add that the the "jobs I'd do for free" list.
Have a good weekend.
AMF.
That is not to be confused with inductive reasoning, which uses a specific observation to come to a generalized conclusion.
Anyway......
Hey, how's things? Isn't it funny when people ask questions in a letter or blog, seeing as they won't be answered by the reader? Oh wait, that was a question.
Warren Buffet was officially passed as the #2 richest person in the world by Mexican media mogul Carlos Slim. FYI, he is worth ~$53,000,000,000. Wowwweeee! I was sitting here thinking of what I would do with that kind of money. I could own 53 franchises, a few thousand Chipotle restaurants, the country of Sealand, almost 38,000 Enzo Ferrari's (even though only 400 were made), or my very own city in Montana (maybe the entire state). The first thing I would do is make my feature film that I have had in my head for 10 years and demand that it not be "sequel-ed" or re-made in the future.
I'm having a surprisingly upswing in luck this week. Today I talked to my boss and we decided I will probably defend my thesis circa October 8th, which means the Ph.D. is in sight. By the way, I will be making all of you call me Dr. Dapper (including the one person who already does).
Not only that, but the Astros are playing better, knock on wood.
I also "got the call" I was expecting a couple days ago (if you really need to know and can't figure it out, ask). That was nice.
My best friend from HS is coming into town this weekend and we will be tearing up Houston, including watching Yao score 69 points saturday and the 'stros win game #7 of their current 100-game win streak.
My reactions at work actually "work"-ed yesterday.
Good times, good times...
I'm watching Scrubs right now and I think I am a congenial mix of all the characters, but about 40% Dr. Cox and 30% J.D. If you don't watch Scrubs, you should. It's genius.
To wrap this up, I think when I grow up I want to be Milkman Dan from the best comic strip in the world "Red Meat".
Kudos again to Alex Osborn if he ever reads this for being Milkman Dan at the 2004 Halloween party (I think I was the only one to recognize him and was his lap-dog all night b/c of the original costume).
On second thought, if I had $53 billion, I would be Jack from the Jack-in-the-box commercials. On third thought, add that the the "jobs I'd do for free" list.
Have a good weekend.
AMF.
Ice, ice, baby. (It's OK to drive drunk on the ) Ice, ice, baby...
4/5/07
"Why aren't hockey injuries that bad?"
"Because they're already on ice."
This week a NJ judge ruled that drunk driving can't be applied to Zamboni's. I realize that this has no relevance at all here in HOusTon, but I'd be sure as crap trading in my car for a Zamboni if I lived up north.
In case you were wondering, the reason it wasn't DD was b/c it was ruled that they aren't usable on highways and can't carry passengers. This came about from a Zamboni driver that decided to get hammered before clearing the ice at a hockey game and did so with a 0.12 BAC (in NJ, drunk = 0.08). I can see where he's coming from b/c a job that requires such little work for a mere 5 minute-frame 4 times/night would drive anyone to hate their job and turn to the bottle.
C'mon guy! I'd practically do the Zamboni for free (along with other jobs including pitching for the Astros, working a baseball scoreboard, World Series of Poker final table card-dealing, on-the-field security for the Super Bowl, and doughnut taster).
On page 420 of the newspaper, there was another disturbing story. The "walking dead man" pictured above, a.k.a. Keith Richards, mentioned in an interview that a few years ago he snorted the ashes of his creamated father while doing cocaine. But it's okay b/c his dad "wouldn't have minded".
I consider myself "normal", then there are people that are "a little off", then further down the scale "insane", but now there is a brand new category even further off the chart we'll call "Keith". What on Earth would even make someone want to do something like that?
Have a good weekend everyone. And if you are looking to kill 4 hours, go see Grindhouse! I saw the sneak preview last night and it was an experience. The absolute best part are the fake previews before each of the movies, so by all means do not be late (and make sure to pee beforehand).
AMF
p.s. Don't even get me started on the now 0-3 Astros!
"Why aren't hockey injuries that bad?"
"Because they're already on ice."
This week a NJ judge ruled that drunk driving can't be applied to Zamboni's. I realize that this has no relevance at all here in HOusTon, but I'd be sure as crap trading in my car for a Zamboni if I lived up north.
In case you were wondering, the reason it wasn't DD was b/c it was ruled that they aren't usable on highways and can't carry passengers. This came about from a Zamboni driver that decided to get hammered before clearing the ice at a hockey game and did so with a 0.12 BAC (in NJ, drunk = 0.08). I can see where he's coming from b/c a job that requires such little work for a mere 5 minute-frame 4 times/night would drive anyone to hate their job and turn to the bottle.
C'mon guy! I'd practically do the Zamboni for free (along with other jobs including pitching for the Astros, working a baseball scoreboard, World Series of Poker final table card-dealing, on-the-field security for the Super Bowl, and doughnut taster).
On page 420 of the newspaper, there was another disturbing story. The "walking dead man" pictured above, a.k.a. Keith Richards, mentioned in an interview that a few years ago he snorted the ashes of his creamated father while doing cocaine. But it's okay b/c his dad "wouldn't have minded".
I consider myself "normal", then there are people that are "a little off", then further down the scale "insane", but now there is a brand new category even further off the chart we'll call "Keith". What on Earth would even make someone want to do something like that?
Have a good weekend everyone. And if you are looking to kill 4 hours, go see Grindhouse! I saw the sneak preview last night and it was an experience. The absolute best part are the fake previews before each of the movies, so by all means do not be late (and make sure to pee beforehand).
AMF
p.s. Don't even get me started on the now 0-3 Astros!
Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again!
4/2/07
I'm not talking about the kick-ass song (and even more kick-ass video) of the band "OK Go", but the season of the Houston Astros.
Tonight, the Astros were on their way to victory with a great outing by starter Roy Oswalt (one run in over 7 innings) and were up 2-1. Middle-man Wheeler was alright, but then comes in "the closer" Brad Lidge. He gets the first two outs, and is only one away from starting the season off right with a good Astros win vs. a crappy Pirates team when on the first pitch to the third guy...boom! Homerun to tie the game on what should be the last out of the game.
What the hell, Lidge?!?!?! Do you know what kind of crap you put me through last year with your 6 blown-saves and all 9 of your other caused-losses that I think should be considered blown saves (i.e. when lidge comes in for the 9th inning of a tied game and gives up 2 homeruns)?!?!?
You've already been de-moted from my "favorite Astro" on the third week of July last year. Now are you trying to get de-moted to "least favorite Astro", currently Orlando Palmeiro?
I've already stopped defending your poor performances and now I am the one leading the jeers and the boos. I don't know if you are familiar with English word definitions, but here is one for you, courtesy of m-w.com :
Closer
Pronunciation: 'klO-z&r
Function: noun
: one that closes; especially : a relief pitcher who specializes in finishing games
Your job, Brad Lidge, is to come into the game, get three outs, then celebrate the victory of a job well-done. If the Astros wanted someone to come in when they have the lead and give up a game-tying or game-losing homerun, they could hire me! Granted, I only have about a 55-ish mph fastball, and the major leaguers aren't used to pitches that slow, but it would still get the job done. And it would be a hell of a cheaper, as I would agree to do it for $30,000/year (a.k.a. about 1/10th of what they pay you to do it).
Consider tonight your one "freebie", Lidge. Get it together and do your job! Do it for the kids that look up to you, do it for the love of the game, do it for the money if you need to, do it to keep your job, do it so that people don't have to worry when you come into the game, do it so that I won't boo you anymore, do it so that I don't consider leaving the game once you come in, and most importantly...do it to keep my medical bills low so that my blood pressure doesn't go through the roof, my ulcers don't devour my inner linings, I'm not screaming mad, and punching through walls.
I feel that it's going to be a long season.....Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again!
I'm not talking about the kick-ass song (and even more kick-ass video) of the band "OK Go", but the season of the Houston Astros.
Tonight, the Astros were on their way to victory with a great outing by starter Roy Oswalt (one run in over 7 innings) and were up 2-1. Middle-man Wheeler was alright, but then comes in "the closer" Brad Lidge. He gets the first two outs, and is only one away from starting the season off right with a good Astros win vs. a crappy Pirates team when on the first pitch to the third guy...boom! Homerun to tie the game on what should be the last out of the game.
What the hell, Lidge?!?!?! Do you know what kind of crap you put me through last year with your 6 blown-saves and all 9 of your other caused-losses that I think should be considered blown saves (i.e. when lidge comes in for the 9th inning of a tied game and gives up 2 homeruns)?!?!?
You've already been de-moted from my "favorite Astro" on the third week of July last year. Now are you trying to get de-moted to "least favorite Astro", currently Orlando Palmeiro?
I've already stopped defending your poor performances and now I am the one leading the jeers and the boos. I don't know if you are familiar with English word definitions, but here is one for you, courtesy of m-w.com :
Closer
Pronunciation: 'klO-z&r
Function: noun
: one that closes; especially : a relief pitcher who specializes in finishing games
Your job, Brad Lidge, is to come into the game, get three outs, then celebrate the victory of a job well-done. If the Astros wanted someone to come in when they have the lead and give up a game-tying or game-losing homerun, they could hire me! Granted, I only have about a 55-ish mph fastball, and the major leaguers aren't used to pitches that slow, but it would still get the job done. And it would be a hell of a cheaper, as I would agree to do it for $30,000/year (a.k.a. about 1/10th of what they pay you to do it).
Consider tonight your one "freebie", Lidge. Get it together and do your job! Do it for the kids that look up to you, do it for the love of the game, do it for the money if you need to, do it to keep your job, do it so that people don't have to worry when you come into the game, do it so that I won't boo you anymore, do it so that I don't consider leaving the game once you come in, and most importantly...do it to keep my medical bills low so that my blood pressure doesn't go through the roof, my ulcers don't devour my inner linings, I'm not screaming mad, and punching through walls.
I feel that it's going to be a long season.....Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again!
It's a mad mad, mad mad, mad mad world (in current events).
3/28/07
First of all, I had a great weekend. Had fun in San Antonio (see the new pic) and got to see Memphis win, Tennessee almost win, lots of beer drinking on saturday with the brewery tour, and just general tom-foolery for the rest of the weekend.
I did find a couple of current new stories interesting that I wanted to pass along:
1. What kind of deadbeat do you want on your pizza? A pizza place in Cincinnati is putting wanted pictures of deadbeat dads that don't pay their alimony on pizza boxes in order to find them and collect. Awesome! Why not do that and get their faces out there to force them to pay up and, if not anything, publicly embarrass them. This would be the kind of work I would do as mayor, but more-so for fun than anything.
2. A new meaning for "gun traders." In bad parts of Mexico City, police are trading video game consoles to kids in exchange for their guns. Awesome! The more "badass" the gun, the better the computer/video game system. This seems like it may work to help clean up streets and may even promote stealing of guns to get more video games. Of course, the kids with the guns can just wait outside the office and steal the video games at gunpoint....how ironical (and yes, that is a real word).
3. Million dollar (crash,) baby. Eddie Griffen, in preparing for the movie Redline, crashed a Ferrari Enzo this week. Only 400 of these cars have been made and they are worth over $1 million each. Awesome! Do you know how many more crappy movies he'll have to do to pay that off?
Good times, good times. On another note, I will be seeing the new Will Ferrell movie (Blades of Glory) and Tarantino movie (Grindhouse) and you should too. At least some good original movies come out in between all the stupid-repeated crap that Hollywood can no longer think up, but just do exactly the same (the new Ice Cube movie, The Warriors remake, and yes I hate to say this: Forrest Gump 2). What the hell?
On a good note, my softball team won a game I didn't expect last night, all but assuring us of making the playoffs! The only thing is now I have to pitch from here on out, so our season may be in the toilet and waiting for the flush.
That's all for now.
AMF
First of all, I had a great weekend. Had fun in San Antonio (see the new pic) and got to see Memphis win, Tennessee almost win, lots of beer drinking on saturday with the brewery tour, and just general tom-foolery for the rest of the weekend.
I did find a couple of current new stories interesting that I wanted to pass along:
1. What kind of deadbeat do you want on your pizza? A pizza place in Cincinnati is putting wanted pictures of deadbeat dads that don't pay their alimony on pizza boxes in order to find them and collect. Awesome! Why not do that and get their faces out there to force them to pay up and, if not anything, publicly embarrass them. This would be the kind of work I would do as mayor, but more-so for fun than anything.
2. A new meaning for "gun traders." In bad parts of Mexico City, police are trading video game consoles to kids in exchange for their guns. Awesome! The more "badass" the gun, the better the computer/video game system. This seems like it may work to help clean up streets and may even promote stealing of guns to get more video games. Of course, the kids with the guns can just wait outside the office and steal the video games at gunpoint....how ironical (and yes, that is a real word).
3. Million dollar (crash,) baby. Eddie Griffen, in preparing for the movie Redline, crashed a Ferrari Enzo this week. Only 400 of these cars have been made and they are worth over $1 million each. Awesome! Do you know how many more crappy movies he'll have to do to pay that off?
Good times, good times. On another note, I will be seeing the new Will Ferrell movie (Blades of Glory) and Tarantino movie (Grindhouse) and you should too. At least some good original movies come out in between all the stupid-repeated crap that Hollywood can no longer think up, but just do exactly the same (the new Ice Cube movie, The Warriors remake, and yes I hate to say this: Forrest Gump 2). What the hell?
On a good note, my softball team won a game I didn't expect last night, all but assuring us of making the playoffs! The only thing is now I have to pitch from here on out, so our season may be in the toilet and waiting for the flush.
That's all for now.
AMF
I'm getting old, I'm newly single, and going to San Antonio. Welcome to my rollercoaster life.
3/21/07
OK, for those of you who haven't noticed, it's been a while since my last rant. However, I haven't been in the mood lately b/c Chris and I broke up.
Who knows if we'll get back together in the long run, but we have been on the rocks for a while and her new job putting distance between us didn't help. Of course, I went up there last month with an "it's over or it's on for good" mindset and after a good talk, I thought it was the latter. But, it's wasn't and I am only now accepting it enough to talk about it, but thanks for everyone's support who I have told. 5 years is a long time and I haven't ever really "dated" so it's going to be a rough re-start.
Well, on the brighter side, I am going to San Antonio tomorrow to watch my favorite two college basketball teams play in the Sweet 16! Memphis plays Texas A&M in the first game and TENNESSEE plays Ohio State in the 2nd. Unfortunately, the only tickets I could score were in the OSU alumni section (and Texas A&M will practically be a home game), so I will be against the crowd on each while rooting for the underdogs. I am probably going to paint my face, but look for me on TV. I'll be wearing blue in a sea of maroon in the 1st game and orange in a sea of red in the 2nd. Either way, look for the fight in the crowd, as I will be there instigating it. GO VOLS!!!
On the darker side, I know my knee will be hurting as I stand there and cheer while getting food thrown at me. I sprained my knee ligaments in the last softball season of 2006, but it hasn't been until practicing and our first game this week that it has been acting up. I actually am wearing a knee wrap/brace right now. It doesn't match the ankle brace I was wearing last night, but that is the point where I realized I'm getting old. Insert "You know how I know you're old?" joke here.
Long gone are the days that I could walk onto the softball or football field without stretching, play my ass off, and be as good as new the next day. Now, I have to stretch everything out nice and long b/c if I don't I can barely walk the next day. Not only that, but I am getting called "sir" more than ever. Getting old sucks.
Anyway, there have been a couple idiocracies happening around me this week, but I can't think of them right now. Nothing that stands out enough to question the very fabric of the American education system, but I guess my memory is now fading, too. Time to take my Geritol.
AMF
OK, for those of you who haven't noticed, it's been a while since my last rant. However, I haven't been in the mood lately b/c Chris and I broke up.
Who knows if we'll get back together in the long run, but we have been on the rocks for a while and her new job putting distance between us didn't help. Of course, I went up there last month with an "it's over or it's on for good" mindset and after a good talk, I thought it was the latter. But, it's wasn't and I am only now accepting it enough to talk about it, but thanks for everyone's support who I have told. 5 years is a long time and I haven't ever really "dated" so it's going to be a rough re-start.
Well, on the brighter side, I am going to San Antonio tomorrow to watch my favorite two college basketball teams play in the Sweet 16! Memphis plays Texas A&M in the first game and TENNESSEE plays Ohio State in the 2nd. Unfortunately, the only tickets I could score were in the OSU alumni section (and Texas A&M will practically be a home game), so I will be against the crowd on each while rooting for the underdogs. I am probably going to paint my face, but look for me on TV. I'll be wearing blue in a sea of maroon in the 1st game and orange in a sea of red in the 2nd. Either way, look for the fight in the crowd, as I will be there instigating it. GO VOLS!!!
On the darker side, I know my knee will be hurting as I stand there and cheer while getting food thrown at me. I sprained my knee ligaments in the last softball season of 2006, but it hasn't been until practicing and our first game this week that it has been acting up. I actually am wearing a knee wrap/brace right now. It doesn't match the ankle brace I was wearing last night, but that is the point where I realized I'm getting old. Insert "You know how I know you're old?" joke here.
Long gone are the days that I could walk onto the softball or football field without stretching, play my ass off, and be as good as new the next day. Now, I have to stretch everything out nice and long b/c if I don't I can barely walk the next day. Not only that, but I am getting called "sir" more than ever. Getting old sucks.
Anyway, there have been a couple idiocracies happening around me this week, but I can't think of them right now. Nothing that stands out enough to question the very fabric of the American education system, but I guess my memory is now fading, too. Time to take my Geritol.
AMF
Things that suck: the Rodeo, The Departed, and the people that love them.
Warning, right off the bat: I will be discussing the movie "The Departed" and parts of it, so if you haven't seen it and do not want to know anything about it, read no further.
What was the deal with this movie? I know that Scorsese deserves awards for being a great director, so he should have gotten an Oscar by now, so I can see giving it to him as a "make-up" for this movie, but it should not have won best picture. It was a "everyone is a rat, and everyone is against everyone" remake that is so intertwined that it becomes down-right confusing and just ends in everyone killing everyone else without anything really being solved. WTF? I know it's remade from a Hong Kong movie (which are notorious for those kind of plots), but come on! Plus, personally, I think Jack Nicholson did a horrible job in this movie. It's getting to the point where no one can say anything bad about the guy and no one will ever say that they don't like him b/c he's so big and famous. Well, that stops here for me. I hated him in this and really hated him in Anger Management (which was an even worse plot but in the exact opposite way).
What irks me even more is people that see this (or other artsy movies), start liking a band that played a song in it and either represent that they "know indie music" or "have liked that band for a long time" when they haven't. This is the case with the Dropkick Murphys in this movie. If you don't know, they have been around a while and are the quintessential Boston band playing Boston music and have been doing so long before this movie. Well, I know people that after they saw the Departed really got into them and were pretending like they know "indie music" and this band in particular and have so for a while just because the average person doesn't know them. These people also try to drop the name of the band and work them into a conversation whenever possible to try and show you that they "know indie music" and "are cooler than you". This is absolutely idiotic b/c the day before the movie, they had no idea who this band was. If you know one of these people, call them out on it (i.e. ask them how long they have "been a fan" and how many of their "albums they have"); if you are one of these people, do us all a favor and stop pretending you are something you aren't, go back to listening to your pop radio station and old NKOTB albums, and admit you are jumping on any bandwagon that comes along.
I've told you about a movie that sucks, and people that suck--now is time for an event and the causes of it that suck: THE HOUSTON RODEO. For those Tennessee friends reading this, there is an annual Rodeo in Houston that occurs at this time every year and absolutely reeks havoc on every sane person's life that lives anywhere close to Astrodome, as yours truly. It consists of daily livestock shows, an all-day carnival everyday and nightly concerts. During the rodeo, all of the hick rednecks come out of the Texas woodwork to come to town with their huge trucks, horse carriages, tight jeans/cowboy hats, and bad driving. The street my apartment is on becomes hell to drive on b/c one of the lanes gets used just for buses and it cannot be turned through. That means everytime I got home, I have to drive 7/8ths of the way around my entire block so that I may be going the right direction to turn into my complex. It also means that I cannot use the main street next to it either b/c it is so packed with the extra-long 6-wheeled pickup trucks full of rednecks blaring their country music. All of these hicks are used to driving in BFE-Texas either, so they get all confused when they see "lines on the road", "turn lanes" and "turn signals" associated with city-driving. It also means that everywhere I go (i.e. grocery store, Target, and even Starbucks for examples), I see all of these plaid-shirt/tight-jean-and-boot/cowboy-hat-wearing rednecks and I'm not just talking about one or two. They are like Visa: everywhere I want to be. This will be the last time I have to deal with the Rodeo, so if I can stand 2 more weeks without going on a redneck-killing-spree I'll be good.
Aiight, peoples. I will wrap it up with a big ol' Happy Birthday to Jessica Biel, who just turned 25. Soooooo fine! If you happen to be reading this, Ms. Biel, hit me up sometime.
AMF
What was the deal with this movie? I know that Scorsese deserves awards for being a great director, so he should have gotten an Oscar by now, so I can see giving it to him as a "make-up" for this movie, but it should not have won best picture. It was a "everyone is a rat, and everyone is against everyone" remake that is so intertwined that it becomes down-right confusing and just ends in everyone killing everyone else without anything really being solved. WTF? I know it's remade from a Hong Kong movie (which are notorious for those kind of plots), but come on! Plus, personally, I think Jack Nicholson did a horrible job in this movie. It's getting to the point where no one can say anything bad about the guy and no one will ever say that they don't like him b/c he's so big and famous. Well, that stops here for me. I hated him in this and really hated him in Anger Management (which was an even worse plot but in the exact opposite way).
What irks me even more is people that see this (or other artsy movies), start liking a band that played a song in it and either represent that they "know indie music" or "have liked that band for a long time" when they haven't. This is the case with the Dropkick Murphys in this movie. If you don't know, they have been around a while and are the quintessential Boston band playing Boston music and have been doing so long before this movie. Well, I know people that after they saw the Departed really got into them and were pretending like they know "indie music" and this band in particular and have so for a while just because the average person doesn't know them. These people also try to drop the name of the band and work them into a conversation whenever possible to try and show you that they "know indie music" and "are cooler than you". This is absolutely idiotic b/c the day before the movie, they had no idea who this band was. If you know one of these people, call them out on it (i.e. ask them how long they have "been a fan" and how many of their "albums they have"); if you are one of these people, do us all a favor and stop pretending you are something you aren't, go back to listening to your pop radio station and old NKOTB albums, and admit you are jumping on any bandwagon that comes along.
I've told you about a movie that sucks, and people that suck--now is time for an event and the causes of it that suck: THE HOUSTON RODEO. For those Tennessee friends reading this, there is an annual Rodeo in Houston that occurs at this time every year and absolutely reeks havoc on every sane person's life that lives anywhere close to Astrodome, as yours truly. It consists of daily livestock shows, an all-day carnival everyday and nightly concerts. During the rodeo, all of the hick rednecks come out of the Texas woodwork to come to town with their huge trucks, horse carriages, tight jeans/cowboy hats, and bad driving. The street my apartment is on becomes hell to drive on b/c one of the lanes gets used just for buses and it cannot be turned through. That means everytime I got home, I have to drive 7/8ths of the way around my entire block so that I may be going the right direction to turn into my complex. It also means that I cannot use the main street next to it either b/c it is so packed with the extra-long 6-wheeled pickup trucks full of rednecks blaring their country music. All of these hicks are used to driving in BFE-Texas either, so they get all confused when they see "lines on the road", "turn lanes" and "turn signals" associated with city-driving. It also means that everywhere I go (i.e. grocery store, Target, and even Starbucks for examples), I see all of these plaid-shirt/tight-jean-and-boot/cowboy-hat-wearing rednecks and I'm not just talking about one or two. They are like Visa: everywhere I want to be. This will be the last time I have to deal with the Rodeo, so if I can stand 2 more weeks without going on a redneck-killing-spree I'll be good.
Aiight, peoples. I will wrap it up with a big ol' Happy Birthday to Jessica Biel, who just turned 25. Soooooo fine! If you happen to be reading this, Ms. Biel, hit me up sometime.
AMF
no workout, I'm not Chinese-approved, and who knows?
OK, someone (put quotation marks around the word if you want) appearantly didn't want me to work out tonight. Not only is part of the area blocked off b/c they are doing work outside of it, but when I went at 9:30, the room was full with someone being on each machine. Those of you who know me know that I am not a fan of people, especially others in close proximity. So, I decided to go watch another episode of King of Queens and go back later. When I went back, there was no one in it, but the door was locked...from the inside! HOW? There wasn't anyone in there and no one in the bathroom in there, so how the crap was the door locked? My workout room key only unlocks the handle, but not the deadbolt, so maybe God knew I was going to drop some weights on my head or something and wanted to keep me from doing it. Oh well, you win this time...you always do.
On another note, the Chinese government isn't letting their people view my webpage (thanks to the reference from whiterose). They refuse to teach about Tiananmen Square in school and now this. C'mon, I'm friends with lots of Chinese people and they know that I don't want to take over China when I come into world power-- I'm shooting for Canada first, seriously.
Tomorrow is my first poker tournament since "the catch". For those of you that don't know, I played in one at the beginning of the year in which I was really rolling and doing well when it got down to 7 of us (out of ~20 to start). I felt my flush was going to hit, so moved all in to scare people out. The guy with the made straight called, then I hit my flush-like I knew I would. However, he had one out in the whole deck (the 4 of hearts) to make an inside straight flush and sure as crap he hit it. The worst part is that he didnt know it once he caught it and he thought he lost, while I just sat there in disbelief. Ever since then, I have been seeing the 4 of hearts everywhere, including card tricks. Let's hope tomorrow's tournament ends a little better.
I did see my first Woody Allen movie the other night: Match Point. Not bad. Had a twist ending, but pretty good. Anyone have any others of his to recommend? BTW, if you don't think Scarlett Johanssen is the hottest person on earth, rent this movie and tell me you still think that. She is alright in non-movies, but in this one...WOW!
TGIF! Things are starting to turn around for me. The big UT win this week, stuff at work is looking good, etc. If I do win my tourney tomorrow I may "officially" be happy. We'll see...
On another note, the Chinese government isn't letting their people view my webpage (thanks to the reference from whiterose). They refuse to teach about Tiananmen Square in school and now this. C'mon, I'm friends with lots of Chinese people and they know that I don't want to take over China when I come into world power-- I'm shooting for Canada first, seriously.
Tomorrow is my first poker tournament since "the catch". For those of you that don't know, I played in one at the beginning of the year in which I was really rolling and doing well when it got down to 7 of us (out of ~20 to start). I felt my flush was going to hit, so moved all in to scare people out. The guy with the made straight called, then I hit my flush-like I knew I would. However, he had one out in the whole deck (the 4 of hearts) to make an inside straight flush and sure as crap he hit it. The worst part is that he didnt know it once he caught it and he thought he lost, while I just sat there in disbelief. Ever since then, I have been seeing the 4 of hearts everywhere, including card tricks. Let's hope tomorrow's tournament ends a little better.
I did see my first Woody Allen movie the other night: Match Point. Not bad. Had a twist ending, but pretty good. Anyone have any others of his to recommend? BTW, if you don't think Scarlett Johanssen is the hottest person on earth, rent this movie and tell me you still think that. She is alright in non-movies, but in this one...WOW!
TGIF! Things are starting to turn around for me. The big UT win this week, stuff at work is looking good, etc. If I do win my tourney tomorrow I may "officially" be happy. We'll see...
The SNL Target sketch is real!
The other day I was shopping at Target for some new shorts on sale (thanks to 80 degree Houston Februarys) and the cashier was just like the one on the Target sketch on SNL. It's the one where Kristen Wiig is the cashier commenting on the customers purchases. Anywho, she scanned my shorts and was like "oh, these are nice, I should get some of these" while holding them up and looking at them a little too long. At least it's nice to know that the funny things on TV are based on real things. If you don't know the sketch, please ignore this entire paragraph until you watch the clip on the link above.
Anyone else catch the Oscars last night? I watched the last half of it b/c all the other channels didn't even bother putting up a fight for viewing rating competition. What was Jack Nicholson thinking by shaving his head? I didnt even recognize him until Ellen said something about him. My guess is that someone cut it a little lop-sided yesterday and it looked so bad that he decided to just take it all off.
Also, how do they determine the seating for the Oscars? I can understand putting the people who are going to win on the ends, but why were people like Mark Wahlberg and Beyonce near the front when they weren't even up for anything?
I did see Jim Gaffigan on friday night and it was he was hilarious! If he comes near you, go see him!
No idiocracy stories today, which is a pleasant and rare surprise. Maybe it's the calm before the double-digit-I.Q. storm hits me later this week.
Oh, the lesson for the day is: if you're going to play softball for the first time in 3.5 months, stretch first. My quads have been reminding me of that all day long!
Anyone else catch the Oscars last night? I watched the last half of it b/c all the other channels didn't even bother putting up a fight for viewing rating competition. What was Jack Nicholson thinking by shaving his head? I didnt even recognize him until Ellen said something about him. My guess is that someone cut it a little lop-sided yesterday and it looked so bad that he decided to just take it all off.
Also, how do they determine the seating for the Oscars? I can understand putting the people who are going to win on the ends, but why were people like Mark Wahlberg and Beyonce near the front when they weren't even up for anything?
I did see Jim Gaffigan on friday night and it was he was hilarious! If he comes near you, go see him!
No idiocracy stories today, which is a pleasant and rare surprise. Maybe it's the calm before the double-digit-I.Q. storm hits me later this week.
Oh, the lesson for the day is: if you're going to play softball for the first time in 3.5 months, stretch first. My quads have been reminding me of that all day long!
I drive a 2005 Dodge "big orange magnetic target"
OK, point of advice right off the bat: if you ever mention something that "doesn't" happen, and you don't want it to happen, make sure to either knock on wood or bite your tongue and not say it. A prime example (as every sports fan knows) is right before an important field goal in football or extra point in basketball, if the announcer says something like "this guy doesn't miss critical ones" he no doubtly will.
This applied to me exactly 57 weeks ago, when at the beginning of 2006 I said "Man, I've lived here in Houston for almost 5 years and despite the bad driving, I haven't even been close to an accident." Those were the words that have plagued me ever since.
Since I said that, I have gotten into 4 accidents with this weekend being the most recent (3 completely not my fault and about 70% not mine). The one this weekend is primarily cosmetic with just paint damage, but come on! What do I need to do to lose this curse?!?! Here is a recap of the timeline:
January (1st week) 2006: I said those words I wish I never said outloud.
February 2006: I have to stop fast on 610 b/c the person in front of me did. The person behind me didn't. Jalope (the older-than-me German car with the Spanish name) is totaled. Enter orange Dodge Neon.
June 2006: Going home from the Astros game. Standstill traffic, yet the amigo in the pick up truck in front of me decides to get into the left left, so puts it in reverse and hits my front end, running into my grill and breaking my headlight.
October 2006:Going home from playing football, I come to a 3-way stop. Oncoming person doesn't stop b/c she's screaming at her kids, hits the person going from my left-to-right who proceeds to get inertia-ed into my entire driver side. Enter new paint job that is more of a burnt orange giving me even more "Hook 'em Horns" than before.
February 2007: Showing interviewees around town this weekend I back out of a parking space, get told the other person is also backing out, I stop, she doesn't, my back end now has green paint and scratches.
I do have to watch my right side now, b/c it is next on the list. In fact, I think the curse may be spreading b/c Chris just got into an "incident" in Wisconsin 2 weeks ago, so maybe this curse is kinda like "The Grudge" and is now affecting the people I closely associate with. Watch out, anyone reading this!
By the way: "Spudder" is a real word, but it's not a potato-farmer, like you may think. It's a tool for removing bark from trees. I found this out after I looked it up after not playing it, due to the thought that it may not be a real word. Had I played it, I would have gotten the 7-letter bonus and would have won the game. ARGHHH!!!! Now I am 1-1 on the year with the M.D./Ph.D. with which I play. If anyone reading this ever wants to play me, I'm game!
This applied to me exactly 57 weeks ago, when at the beginning of 2006 I said "Man, I've lived here in Houston for almost 5 years and despite the bad driving, I haven't even been close to an accident." Those were the words that have plagued me ever since.
Since I said that, I have gotten into 4 accidents with this weekend being the most recent (3 completely not my fault and about 70% not mine). The one this weekend is primarily cosmetic with just paint damage, but come on! What do I need to do to lose this curse?!?! Here is a recap of the timeline:
January (1st week) 2006: I said those words I wish I never said outloud.
February 2006: I have to stop fast on 610 b/c the person in front of me did. The person behind me didn't. Jalope (the older-than-me German car with the Spanish name) is totaled. Enter orange Dodge Neon.
June 2006: Going home from the Astros game. Standstill traffic, yet the amigo in the pick up truck in front of me decides to get into the left left, so puts it in reverse and hits my front end, running into my grill and breaking my headlight.
October 2006:Going home from playing football, I come to a 3-way stop. Oncoming person doesn't stop b/c she's screaming at her kids, hits the person going from my left-to-right who proceeds to get inertia-ed into my entire driver side. Enter new paint job that is more of a burnt orange giving me even more "Hook 'em Horns" than before.
February 2007: Showing interviewees around town this weekend I back out of a parking space, get told the other person is also backing out, I stop, she doesn't, my back end now has green paint and scratches.
I do have to watch my right side now, b/c it is next on the list. In fact, I think the curse may be spreading b/c Chris just got into an "incident" in Wisconsin 2 weeks ago, so maybe this curse is kinda like "The Grudge" and is now affecting the people I closely associate with. Watch out, anyone reading this!
By the way: "Spudder" is a real word, but it's not a potato-farmer, like you may think. It's a tool for removing bark from trees. I found this out after I looked it up after not playing it, due to the thought that it may not be a real word. Had I played it, I would have gotten the 7-letter bonus and would have won the game. ARGHHH!!!! Now I am 1-1 on the year with the M.D./Ph.D. with which I play. If anyone reading this ever wants to play me, I'm game!
"Ground temperature here in Chicago is one degree". WTF?
That title is the first the I heard after landing in Chicago this past weekend. Why on earth would anyone want to live in the north during the winter (says the guy that lives in a place that, in the summer, is the equivalent of an overcast day in hell)?
I step off the plane (literally) and saw more of my breath in 2 seconds than in the past 2 years combined. I was born and raised in the South and am totally not used to that kind of crap; much less the 5 inches of snow that fell over the course of a few hours Sunday night (also more than I have experienced in my last 10 years combined). I do have to admit, that I was thrown by the preponderance of stand-alone moustaches and funny accents, but I could see myself living up there (with a much heavier coat).
I did come back to find O'Hare having a traffic control problem, making my flight even later than normal and not getting back to Houston until nearly midnight after an already long day of snow-shoveling for the first time in my life. One very ironic thing I did come back to was on the drive home, an ambulance driving beside me decided that he need to be in my lane, so cut me off without even using his blinker or any notice. After a long honk and a big blaring "superfinger" (don't worry, it wasn't carrying anyone), I thought "wouldn't it have been funny had I gotten hurt in that accident and had to go to the hospital?" It would have been like seeing a Fire Department building on fire.
I didn't watch (nor care about) the Grammy's this past weekend. I am a closet Timberlake fan, though.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, to which a lot of people make a big deal about. Usually the ones that do are singles talking about how Hallmark made up the holiday. I do have to admit that I was one of those people for the first 11/14ths of my life, but I think it is important to remind people to tell the ones they care for that they love them. If one is single on that day, don't let it get you down, but get some other single friends and go tear up the town.
It's been 3 days since the last football game of the season and I am already Jones-ing. I'll save my draft-talk for later, but I am already thinking about it.
I saw a girl from a weekly seminar I go to at a local Blockbuster the other day and I said hey to her while in the store. You would not believe the look I got when I touched her, said hello, and then started talking to her normally, all while she did not recognize me. The look on her face was absolutely priceless. The raw combination of shock, memory-tracking, intrigue, and utter disdain was a "perfect storm" of emotion, but was completely lost once I reminded her of where I knew her from. In fact, I think I may start doing that to people I don't know just to get that look again. I suggest that all of you try that sometime this week as your 'homework assignment" as well.
I step off the plane (literally) and saw more of my breath in 2 seconds than in the past 2 years combined. I was born and raised in the South and am totally not used to that kind of crap; much less the 5 inches of snow that fell over the course of a few hours Sunday night (also more than I have experienced in my last 10 years combined). I do have to admit, that I was thrown by the preponderance of stand-alone moustaches and funny accents, but I could see myself living up there (with a much heavier coat).
I did come back to find O'Hare having a traffic control problem, making my flight even later than normal and not getting back to Houston until nearly midnight after an already long day of snow-shoveling for the first time in my life. One very ironic thing I did come back to was on the drive home, an ambulance driving beside me decided that he need to be in my lane, so cut me off without even using his blinker or any notice. After a long honk and a big blaring "superfinger" (don't worry, it wasn't carrying anyone), I thought "wouldn't it have been funny had I gotten hurt in that accident and had to go to the hospital?" It would have been like seeing a Fire Department building on fire.
I didn't watch (nor care about) the Grammy's this past weekend. I am a closet Timberlake fan, though.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, to which a lot of people make a big deal about. Usually the ones that do are singles talking about how Hallmark made up the holiday. I do have to admit that I was one of those people for the first 11/14ths of my life, but I think it is important to remind people to tell the ones they care for that they love them. If one is single on that day, don't let it get you down, but get some other single friends and go tear up the town.
It's been 3 days since the last football game of the season and I am already Jones-ing. I'll save my draft-talk for later, but I am already thinking about it.
I saw a girl from a weekly seminar I go to at a local Blockbuster the other day and I said hey to her while in the store. You would not believe the look I got when I touched her, said hello, and then started talking to her normally, all while she did not recognize me. The look on her face was absolutely priceless. The raw combination of shock, memory-tracking, intrigue, and utter disdain was a "perfect storm" of emotion, but was completely lost once I reminded her of where I knew her from. In fact, I think I may start doing that to people I don't know just to get that look again. I suggest that all of you try that sometime this week as your 'homework assignment" as well.
Everyone else is doing it, so why not me?
2/7/07
Alright, I have 4 new blogs to read today from my myspace blog subscriptions, so I might as well return the favor to those people, plus it's been a couple days since my last and that was a stupid survey.
Beer is good. Real good. This blog is a little under the influence, so pardon any syntax/grammatical/spelling errors right off the bat.
Does everyone believe in karma? I think it kinda half-ass exists but not really (does that make sense?). Today was a prime example of it in action. Since Houston is known for red-light running, and it won't solve itself anytime soon, today when I was most of the way into an intersection when the light turned red I decided to contribute to it. Well, not more than 2 seconds after it happened a bird let loose the absolute biggest shit I have ever seen right in the middle of my winshield. I'm not talking "it ate a berry and then a marble came out", I'm saying a "12 oz. softball sized, lumpy, just ate a human baby--and I'm not talking newborn, but Gannon Montgomery--pee and poop mixture" landed right in the middle of my front windshield. I can't even funckin' look through it. It's so gloppy, that I didnt turn on my wipers b/c I knew it would schmear all over my winshield. It wasn't until a couple minutes later that I realized that if I didn't run the red light, my car wouldn't have been repainted with feces.
Yesterday I read the quote "Drugs are not the answer. Unless the question is 'what is not the answer?' ". Pure genius. I want to give the guy who made that up $5. Those of you who know me know that $5 is the maximum verbal commitment I will give/be..rrow/bargain/solicit in any situation.
I do have to give a shout-out kudo to Craig's List. For those of you who don't know: why not? It is a personals/job posting/free shit giving/want ad posting/ event planning super website that is specific to every major American city. Well, They recently have defended their position on not having banner and pop-ups all over their site. They only make money on job postings, but everything else is free and their users absolutely love it b/c they know that the site can easily sell out (like youtube) for MILLIONS of dollars. Thank you Craigslist.
I'm bringing back the "high-Five" People only seem to do it in sports now-a-days, so I want all of you who read this to "high five" at least 3 people today (or tomorrow if you are reading this at night). Just so you know, National High Five Day is coming up in a couple months. Better Practice up.
I'm a gambling man, but I don't think I would ever bet my name on a game. Maybe my hair, especially facial, but never my name. Some guy in Chicago is changing his name to "Peyton Manning" b/c the Bears lost.
Other random thoughts before I wrap this up:
-Why does Harrison Ford do that awkward "I'm too old to really jump" leap onto someone in every movie he does?
-I like drinking.
-I wish I could re-do my entire after-18 year old life knowing what I know now.
-How do 13% of Americans NOT know about global warming?
-WHY AM I ONLY GETTING FRIEND REQUESTS FROM FAKE "go to my webcam-I'm from nowhere and don't want kids-have only had my profile one day and Tom is my only friend" PROFILES? How and why are they asking me? Does this happen to everyone? Is it b/c I'm so hot?
-I should have (or should cureently) date[d] more.
-I wonder if I would have majored in advertising if I would have had an advertisement in the Superbowl this year.
-This is the first blog I have gone this long without talking about a specific "idiot incident".
-I hate mixed signals.
-I'm going to start calling Donald "Chocolate Bear" in reference to Scrubs (unless he kicks my ass for doing so).
-I like drinking.
-How is it already almost mid-February already?
-Today was the first time I bought underwear in (literally) I can't remember how long. With guys, they just kinda "appear" and "disappear" on their own.
-If I was a girl, my name would have been Jennifer. Jennifer Dapper. hmmm....I bet I would have been hot.
-My hair right now is literally the longest it has ever been. I don't care what "someone" says, I'm not cutting it b/c I want to see where it goes.
-I wish it were societically okay to tell someone that you don't like them, you wish they don't have a good weekend and that it was not nice to meet them.
-I am of "no political party". Everyone should be like me. And in that way more than others.
-I like drinking.
Well,s that 's all for now boys and girls. See you next time. Tell me what you think of this blog entry with your comments. I wonder if anyone will ever even read this...Hmmm.
Oh well.
AMF
Alright, I have 4 new blogs to read today from my myspace blog subscriptions, so I might as well return the favor to those people, plus it's been a couple days since my last and that was a stupid survey.
Beer is good. Real good. This blog is a little under the influence, so pardon any syntax/grammatical/spelling errors right off the bat.
Does everyone believe in karma? I think it kinda half-ass exists but not really (does that make sense?). Today was a prime example of it in action. Since Houston is known for red-light running, and it won't solve itself anytime soon, today when I was most of the way into an intersection when the light turned red I decided to contribute to it. Well, not more than 2 seconds after it happened a bird let loose the absolute biggest shit I have ever seen right in the middle of my winshield. I'm not talking "it ate a berry and then a marble came out", I'm saying a "12 oz. softball sized, lumpy, just ate a human baby--and I'm not talking newborn, but Gannon Montgomery--pee and poop mixture" landed right in the middle of my front windshield. I can't even funckin' look through it. It's so gloppy, that I didnt turn on my wipers b/c I knew it would schmear all over my winshield. It wasn't until a couple minutes later that I realized that if I didn't run the red light, my car wouldn't have been repainted with feces.
Yesterday I read the quote "Drugs are not the answer. Unless the question is 'what is not the answer?' ". Pure genius. I want to give the guy who made that up $5. Those of you who know me know that $5 is the maximum verbal commitment I will give/be..rrow/bargain/solicit in any situation.
I do have to give a shout-out kudo to Craig's List. For those of you who don't know: why not? It is a personals/job posting/free shit giving/want ad posting/ event planning super website that is specific to every major American city. Well, They recently have defended their position on not having banner and pop-ups all over their site. They only make money on job postings, but everything else is free and their users absolutely love it b/c they know that the site can easily sell out (like youtube) for MILLIONS of dollars. Thank you Craigslist.
I'm bringing back the "high-Five" People only seem to do it in sports now-a-days, so I want all of you who read this to "high five" at least 3 people today (or tomorrow if you are reading this at night). Just so you know, National High Five Day is coming up in a couple months. Better Practice up.
I'm a gambling man, but I don't think I would ever bet my name on a game. Maybe my hair, especially facial, but never my name. Some guy in Chicago is changing his name to "Peyton Manning" b/c the Bears lost.
Other random thoughts before I wrap this up:
-Why does Harrison Ford do that awkward "I'm too old to really jump" leap onto someone in every movie he does?
-I like drinking.
-I wish I could re-do my entire after-18 year old life knowing what I know now.
-How do 13% of Americans NOT know about global warming?
-WHY AM I ONLY GETTING FRIEND REQUESTS FROM FAKE "go to my webcam-I'm from nowhere and don't want kids-have only had my profile one day and Tom is my only friend" PROFILES? How and why are they asking me? Does this happen to everyone? Is it b/c I'm so hot?
-I should have (or should cureently) date[d] more.
-I wonder if I would have majored in advertising if I would have had an advertisement in the Superbowl this year.
-This is the first blog I have gone this long without talking about a specific "idiot incident".
-I hate mixed signals.
-I'm going to start calling Donald "Chocolate Bear" in reference to Scrubs (unless he kicks my ass for doing so).
-I like drinking.
-How is it already almost mid-February already?
-Today was the first time I bought underwear in (literally) I can't remember how long. With guys, they just kinda "appear" and "disappear" on their own.
-If I was a girl, my name would have been Jennifer. Jennifer Dapper. hmmm....I bet I would have been hot.
-My hair right now is literally the longest it has ever been. I don't care what "someone" says, I'm not cutting it b/c I want to see where it goes.
-I wish it were societically okay to tell someone that you don't like them, you wish they don't have a good weekend and that it was not nice to meet them.
-I am of "no political party". Everyone should be like me. And in that way more than others.
-I like drinking.
Well,s that 's all for now boys and girls. See you next time. Tell me what you think of this blog entry with your comments. I wonder if anyone will ever even read this...Hmmm.
Oh well.
AMF
random nothings, blogs, ATHF, cokes, and a Texas joke
OK, I'm in a weird mood today. Maybe it's the fact that the driving in Te-jas is so horrible that I only drove to school and back and nearly got hit about half a dozen times today. Maybe it's the Chinagirl with which I work wore the same outfit for the 4th straight day and always gets in my way and leaves the fridge open. Or, maybe it's the couple martini's I've had tonight.
Of course, there can't ever be a blog where I don't talk about something that pisses me off, so I'll go ahead and get it out of the way: The one magazine to which I have a subscription provided me a code to download a free song on iTunes. I put it in, but the site said something like "server was down-try again later", so like the gullible American I am, I try again later and it says "you've already used this code". Son of a bitch! They got me. I think it was all a big ploy to trick people for no good reason. Of course, this leads me to think....why didn't I think of this first?
This leads me to my next topic was that every blog has a basis. For example, I can't stand stupid people, so mine normally revolves around me getting my frustrations out on them before I calm down to talk about more down-to-earth stuff. I didn't realize this until someone mentioned it this week, while this whole time I (and Tony with music) have been [a] perfect example[s] of this. Very intriguing. Make sure to add me to your myspace blog subscriptions, but see if you can find the basis in all of your other common-read blogs.
I do have to give my hats off to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force advertising ploy that happened this week. For those who don't know, ATHF is the most Fucked-up show on TV (notice I didnt abbreviate this time b/c it is so true). It revolves around a milkshake, meatball, and box of fries hanging out in New Jersey. Quality!
Anywho, the ad wizards decided to put one of the characters in LED lights on a circuit-board and placed them randomly around big cities in America, particularly on highways. Of course, there is nothing on it that say the name of the show or anything, but once people thought they were bombs, the story really blew up (pardon the pun). This caused them to get more advertisement than they ever expected and, what is even better, the judge today ruled that there is a good chance that they won't have enough evidence to show it was a "threat", so they may have gotten away with it completely! Meanwhile, this whole time, the average person is saying "what the F--- is ATHF and why do I want to watch personified food hanging out in New Jersey?" GENIUS!!!!
I read someone's profile today that said "I love proper grammer". It wasn't sarcastic or meant to be oxymoronic. Good job, idiot.
It's 1:20. I've got time for (at least) one more martini before Bob Ross comes on. I'll close this out with a Texas joke (one of millions). AMF!
-------------------------
Here is a joke I read today from the state that considers drunk driving a sport:
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in
Houston , Texas.
After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the
parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After
what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different
vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.
He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons
left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started the car, switched the
wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the
blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then
switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little
and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other
patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the
parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now
started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the
driver over and administered a breathalyzer test.
To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that
the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said,
"I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud TEXAN. "Tonight I'm the
designated decoy."
---I didn't say it was going to be that funny.
Of course, there can't ever be a blog where I don't talk about something that pisses me off, so I'll go ahead and get it out of the way: The one magazine to which I have a subscription provided me a code to download a free song on iTunes. I put it in, but the site said something like "server was down-try again later", so like the gullible American I am, I try again later and it says "you've already used this code". Son of a bitch! They got me. I think it was all a big ploy to trick people for no good reason. Of course, this leads me to think....why didn't I think of this first?
This leads me to my next topic was that every blog has a basis. For example, I can't stand stupid people, so mine normally revolves around me getting my frustrations out on them before I calm down to talk about more down-to-earth stuff. I didn't realize this until someone mentioned it this week, while this whole time I (and Tony with music) have been [a] perfect example[s] of this. Very intriguing. Make sure to add me to your myspace blog subscriptions, but see if you can find the basis in all of your other common-read blogs.
I do have to give my hats off to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force advertising ploy that happened this week. For those who don't know, ATHF is the most Fucked-up show on TV (notice I didnt abbreviate this time b/c it is so true). It revolves around a milkshake, meatball, and box of fries hanging out in New Jersey. Quality!
Anywho, the ad wizards decided to put one of the characters in LED lights on a circuit-board and placed them randomly around big cities in America, particularly on highways. Of course, there is nothing on it that say the name of the show or anything, but once people thought they were bombs, the story really blew up (pardon the pun). This caused them to get more advertisement than they ever expected and, what is even better, the judge today ruled that there is a good chance that they won't have enough evidence to show it was a "threat", so they may have gotten away with it completely! Meanwhile, this whole time, the average person is saying "what the F--- is ATHF and why do I want to watch personified food hanging out in New Jersey?" GENIUS!!!!
I read someone's profile today that said "I love proper grammer". It wasn't sarcastic or meant to be oxymoronic. Good job, idiot.
It's 1:20. I've got time for (at least) one more martini before Bob Ross comes on. I'll close this out with a Texas joke (one of millions). AMF!
-------------------------
Here is a joke I read today from the state that considers drunk driving a sport:
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in
Houston , Texas.
After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the
parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After
what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different
vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.
He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons
left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started the car, switched the
wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the
blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then
switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little
and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other
patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the
parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now
started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the
driver over and administered a breathalyzer test.
To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that
the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said,
"I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud TEXAN. "Tonight I'm the
designated decoy."
---I didn't say it was going to be that funny.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)