OK, someone (put quotation marks around the word if you want) appearantly didn't want me to work out tonight. Not only is part of the area blocked off b/c they are doing work outside of it, but when I went at 9:30, the room was full with someone being on each machine. Those of you who know me know that I am not a fan of people, especially others in close proximity. So, I decided to go watch another episode of King of Queens and go back later. When I went back, there was no one in it, but the door was locked...from the inside! HOW? There wasn't anyone in there and no one in the bathroom in there, so how the crap was the door locked? My workout room key only unlocks the handle, but not the deadbolt, so maybe God knew I was going to drop some weights on my head or something and wanted to keep me from doing it. Oh well, you win this time...you always do.
On another note, the Chinese government isn't letting their people view my webpage (thanks to the reference from whiterose). They refuse to teach about Tiananmen Square in school and now this. C'mon, I'm friends with lots of Chinese people and they know that I don't want to take over China when I come into world power-- I'm shooting for Canada first, seriously.
Tomorrow is my first poker tournament since "the catch". For those of you that don't know, I played in one at the beginning of the year in which I was really rolling and doing well when it got down to 7 of us (out of ~20 to start). I felt my flush was going to hit, so moved all in to scare people out. The guy with the made straight called, then I hit my flush-like I knew I would. However, he had one out in the whole deck (the 4 of hearts) to make an inside straight flush and sure as crap he hit it. The worst part is that he didnt know it once he caught it and he thought he lost, while I just sat there in disbelief. Ever since then, I have been seeing the 4 of hearts everywhere, including card tricks. Let's hope tomorrow's tournament ends a little better.
I did see my first Woody Allen movie the other night: Match Point. Not bad. Had a twist ending, but pretty good. Anyone have any others of his to recommend? BTW, if you don't think Scarlett Johanssen is the hottest person on earth, rent this movie and tell me you still think that. She is alright in non-movies, but in this one...WOW!
TGIF! Things are starting to turn around for me. The big UT win this week, stuff at work is looking good, etc. If I do win my tourney tomorrow I may "officially" be happy. We'll see...
Sunday, May 6, 2007
The SNL Target sketch is real!
The other day I was shopping at Target for some new shorts on sale (thanks to 80 degree Houston Februarys) and the cashier was just like the one on the Target sketch on SNL. It's the one where Kristen Wiig is the cashier commenting on the customers purchases. Anywho, she scanned my shorts and was like "oh, these are nice, I should get some of these" while holding them up and looking at them a little too long. At least it's nice to know that the funny things on TV are based on real things. If you don't know the sketch, please ignore this entire paragraph until you watch the clip on the link above.
Anyone else catch the Oscars last night? I watched the last half of it b/c all the other channels didn't even bother putting up a fight for viewing rating competition. What was Jack Nicholson thinking by shaving his head? I didnt even recognize him until Ellen said something about him. My guess is that someone cut it a little lop-sided yesterday and it looked so bad that he decided to just take it all off.
Also, how do they determine the seating for the Oscars? I can understand putting the people who are going to win on the ends, but why were people like Mark Wahlberg and Beyonce near the front when they weren't even up for anything?
I did see Jim Gaffigan on friday night and it was he was hilarious! If he comes near you, go see him!
No idiocracy stories today, which is a pleasant and rare surprise. Maybe it's the calm before the double-digit-I.Q. storm hits me later this week.
Oh, the lesson for the day is: if you're going to play softball for the first time in 3.5 months, stretch first. My quads have been reminding me of that all day long!
Anyone else catch the Oscars last night? I watched the last half of it b/c all the other channels didn't even bother putting up a fight for viewing rating competition. What was Jack Nicholson thinking by shaving his head? I didnt even recognize him until Ellen said something about him. My guess is that someone cut it a little lop-sided yesterday and it looked so bad that he decided to just take it all off.
Also, how do they determine the seating for the Oscars? I can understand putting the people who are going to win on the ends, but why were people like Mark Wahlberg and Beyonce near the front when they weren't even up for anything?
I did see Jim Gaffigan on friday night and it was he was hilarious! If he comes near you, go see him!
No idiocracy stories today, which is a pleasant and rare surprise. Maybe it's the calm before the double-digit-I.Q. storm hits me later this week.
Oh, the lesson for the day is: if you're going to play softball for the first time in 3.5 months, stretch first. My quads have been reminding me of that all day long!
I drive a 2005 Dodge "big orange magnetic target"
OK, point of advice right off the bat: if you ever mention something that "doesn't" happen, and you don't want it to happen, make sure to either knock on wood or bite your tongue and not say it. A prime example (as every sports fan knows) is right before an important field goal in football or extra point in basketball, if the announcer says something like "this guy doesn't miss critical ones" he no doubtly will.
This applied to me exactly 57 weeks ago, when at the beginning of 2006 I said "Man, I've lived here in Houston for almost 5 years and despite the bad driving, I haven't even been close to an accident." Those were the words that have plagued me ever since.
Since I said that, I have gotten into 4 accidents with this weekend being the most recent (3 completely not my fault and about 70% not mine). The one this weekend is primarily cosmetic with just paint damage, but come on! What do I need to do to lose this curse?!?! Here is a recap of the timeline:
January (1st week) 2006: I said those words I wish I never said outloud.
February 2006: I have to stop fast on 610 b/c the person in front of me did. The person behind me didn't. Jalope (the older-than-me German car with the Spanish name) is totaled. Enter orange Dodge Neon.
June 2006: Going home from the Astros game. Standstill traffic, yet the amigo in the pick up truck in front of me decides to get into the left left, so puts it in reverse and hits my front end, running into my grill and breaking my headlight.
October 2006:Going home from playing football, I come to a 3-way stop. Oncoming person doesn't stop b/c she's screaming at her kids, hits the person going from my left-to-right who proceeds to get inertia-ed into my entire driver side. Enter new paint job that is more of a burnt orange giving me even more "Hook 'em Horns" than before.
February 2007: Showing interviewees around town this weekend I back out of a parking space, get told the other person is also backing out, I stop, she doesn't, my back end now has green paint and scratches.
I do have to watch my right side now, b/c it is next on the list. In fact, I think the curse may be spreading b/c Chris just got into an "incident" in Wisconsin 2 weeks ago, so maybe this curse is kinda like "The Grudge" and is now affecting the people I closely associate with. Watch out, anyone reading this!
By the way: "Spudder" is a real word, but it's not a potato-farmer, like you may think. It's a tool for removing bark from trees. I found this out after I looked it up after not playing it, due to the thought that it may not be a real word. Had I played it, I would have gotten the 7-letter bonus and would have won the game. ARGHHH!!!! Now I am 1-1 on the year with the M.D./Ph.D. with which I play. If anyone reading this ever wants to play me, I'm game!
This applied to me exactly 57 weeks ago, when at the beginning of 2006 I said "Man, I've lived here in Houston for almost 5 years and despite the bad driving, I haven't even been close to an accident." Those were the words that have plagued me ever since.
Since I said that, I have gotten into 4 accidents with this weekend being the most recent (3 completely not my fault and about 70% not mine). The one this weekend is primarily cosmetic with just paint damage, but come on! What do I need to do to lose this curse?!?! Here is a recap of the timeline:
January (1st week) 2006: I said those words I wish I never said outloud.
February 2006: I have to stop fast on 610 b/c the person in front of me did. The person behind me didn't. Jalope (the older-than-me German car with the Spanish name) is totaled. Enter orange Dodge Neon.
June 2006: Going home from the Astros game. Standstill traffic, yet the amigo in the pick up truck in front of me decides to get into the left left, so puts it in reverse and hits my front end, running into my grill and breaking my headlight.
October 2006:Going home from playing football, I come to a 3-way stop. Oncoming person doesn't stop b/c she's screaming at her kids, hits the person going from my left-to-right who proceeds to get inertia-ed into my entire driver side. Enter new paint job that is more of a burnt orange giving me even more "Hook 'em Horns" than before.
February 2007: Showing interviewees around town this weekend I back out of a parking space, get told the other person is also backing out, I stop, she doesn't, my back end now has green paint and scratches.
I do have to watch my right side now, b/c it is next on the list. In fact, I think the curse may be spreading b/c Chris just got into an "incident" in Wisconsin 2 weeks ago, so maybe this curse is kinda like "The Grudge" and is now affecting the people I closely associate with. Watch out, anyone reading this!
By the way: "Spudder" is a real word, but it's not a potato-farmer, like you may think. It's a tool for removing bark from trees. I found this out after I looked it up after not playing it, due to the thought that it may not be a real word. Had I played it, I would have gotten the 7-letter bonus and would have won the game. ARGHHH!!!! Now I am 1-1 on the year with the M.D./Ph.D. with which I play. If anyone reading this ever wants to play me, I'm game!
"Ground temperature here in Chicago is one degree". WTF?
That title is the first the I heard after landing in Chicago this past weekend. Why on earth would anyone want to live in the north during the winter (says the guy that lives in a place that, in the summer, is the equivalent of an overcast day in hell)?
I step off the plane (literally) and saw more of my breath in 2 seconds than in the past 2 years combined. I was born and raised in the South and am totally not used to that kind of crap; much less the 5 inches of snow that fell over the course of a few hours Sunday night (also more than I have experienced in my last 10 years combined). I do have to admit, that I was thrown by the preponderance of stand-alone moustaches and funny accents, but I could see myself living up there (with a much heavier coat).
I did come back to find O'Hare having a traffic control problem, making my flight even later than normal and not getting back to Houston until nearly midnight after an already long day of snow-shoveling for the first time in my life. One very ironic thing I did come back to was on the drive home, an ambulance driving beside me decided that he need to be in my lane, so cut me off without even using his blinker or any notice. After a long honk and a big blaring "superfinger" (don't worry, it wasn't carrying anyone), I thought "wouldn't it have been funny had I gotten hurt in that accident and had to go to the hospital?" It would have been like seeing a Fire Department building on fire.
I didn't watch (nor care about) the Grammy's this past weekend. I am a closet Timberlake fan, though.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, to which a lot of people make a big deal about. Usually the ones that do are singles talking about how Hallmark made up the holiday. I do have to admit that I was one of those people for the first 11/14ths of my life, but I think it is important to remind people to tell the ones they care for that they love them. If one is single on that day, don't let it get you down, but get some other single friends and go tear up the town.
It's been 3 days since the last football game of the season and I am already Jones-ing. I'll save my draft-talk for later, but I am already thinking about it.
I saw a girl from a weekly seminar I go to at a local Blockbuster the other day and I said hey to her while in the store. You would not believe the look I got when I touched her, said hello, and then started talking to her normally, all while she did not recognize me. The look on her face was absolutely priceless. The raw combination of shock, memory-tracking, intrigue, and utter disdain was a "perfect storm" of emotion, but was completely lost once I reminded her of where I knew her from. In fact, I think I may start doing that to people I don't know just to get that look again. I suggest that all of you try that sometime this week as your 'homework assignment" as well.
I step off the plane (literally) and saw more of my breath in 2 seconds than in the past 2 years combined. I was born and raised in the South and am totally not used to that kind of crap; much less the 5 inches of snow that fell over the course of a few hours Sunday night (also more than I have experienced in my last 10 years combined). I do have to admit, that I was thrown by the preponderance of stand-alone moustaches and funny accents, but I could see myself living up there (with a much heavier coat).
I did come back to find O'Hare having a traffic control problem, making my flight even later than normal and not getting back to Houston until nearly midnight after an already long day of snow-shoveling for the first time in my life. One very ironic thing I did come back to was on the drive home, an ambulance driving beside me decided that he need to be in my lane, so cut me off without even using his blinker or any notice. After a long honk and a big blaring "superfinger" (don't worry, it wasn't carrying anyone), I thought "wouldn't it have been funny had I gotten hurt in that accident and had to go to the hospital?" It would have been like seeing a Fire Department building on fire.
I didn't watch (nor care about) the Grammy's this past weekend. I am a closet Timberlake fan, though.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, to which a lot of people make a big deal about. Usually the ones that do are singles talking about how Hallmark made up the holiday. I do have to admit that I was one of those people for the first 11/14ths of my life, but I think it is important to remind people to tell the ones they care for that they love them. If one is single on that day, don't let it get you down, but get some other single friends and go tear up the town.
It's been 3 days since the last football game of the season and I am already Jones-ing. I'll save my draft-talk for later, but I am already thinking about it.
I saw a girl from a weekly seminar I go to at a local Blockbuster the other day and I said hey to her while in the store. You would not believe the look I got when I touched her, said hello, and then started talking to her normally, all while she did not recognize me. The look on her face was absolutely priceless. The raw combination of shock, memory-tracking, intrigue, and utter disdain was a "perfect storm" of emotion, but was completely lost once I reminded her of where I knew her from. In fact, I think I may start doing that to people I don't know just to get that look again. I suggest that all of you try that sometime this week as your 'homework assignment" as well.
Everyone else is doing it, so why not me?
2/7/07
Alright, I have 4 new blogs to read today from my myspace blog subscriptions, so I might as well return the favor to those people, plus it's been a couple days since my last and that was a stupid survey.
Beer is good. Real good. This blog is a little under the influence, so pardon any syntax/grammatical/spelling errors right off the bat.
Does everyone believe in karma? I think it kinda half-ass exists but not really (does that make sense?). Today was a prime example of it in action. Since Houston is known for red-light running, and it won't solve itself anytime soon, today when I was most of the way into an intersection when the light turned red I decided to contribute to it. Well, not more than 2 seconds after it happened a bird let loose the absolute biggest shit I have ever seen right in the middle of my winshield. I'm not talking "it ate a berry and then a marble came out", I'm saying a "12 oz. softball sized, lumpy, just ate a human baby--and I'm not talking newborn, but Gannon Montgomery--pee and poop mixture" landed right in the middle of my front windshield. I can't even funckin' look through it. It's so gloppy, that I didnt turn on my wipers b/c I knew it would schmear all over my winshield. It wasn't until a couple minutes later that I realized that if I didn't run the red light, my car wouldn't have been repainted with feces.
Yesterday I read the quote "Drugs are not the answer. Unless the question is 'what is not the answer?' ". Pure genius. I want to give the guy who made that up $5. Those of you who know me know that $5 is the maximum verbal commitment I will give/be..rrow/bargain/solicit in any situation.
I do have to give a shout-out kudo to Craig's List. For those of you who don't know: why not? It is a personals/job posting/free shit giving/want ad posting/ event planning super website that is specific to every major American city. Well, They recently have defended their position on not having banner and pop-ups all over their site. They only make money on job postings, but everything else is free and their users absolutely love it b/c they know that the site can easily sell out (like youtube) for MILLIONS of dollars. Thank you Craigslist.
I'm bringing back the "high-Five" People only seem to do it in sports now-a-days, so I want all of you who read this to "high five" at least 3 people today (or tomorrow if you are reading this at night). Just so you know, National High Five Day is coming up in a couple months. Better Practice up.
I'm a gambling man, but I don't think I would ever bet my name on a game. Maybe my hair, especially facial, but never my name. Some guy in Chicago is changing his name to "Peyton Manning" b/c the Bears lost.
Other random thoughts before I wrap this up:
-Why does Harrison Ford do that awkward "I'm too old to really jump" leap onto someone in every movie he does?
-I like drinking.
-I wish I could re-do my entire after-18 year old life knowing what I know now.
-How do 13% of Americans NOT know about global warming?
-WHY AM I ONLY GETTING FRIEND REQUESTS FROM FAKE "go to my webcam-I'm from nowhere and don't want kids-have only had my profile one day and Tom is my only friend" PROFILES? How and why are they asking me? Does this happen to everyone? Is it b/c I'm so hot?
-I should have (or should cureently) date[d] more.
-I wonder if I would have majored in advertising if I would have had an advertisement in the Superbowl this year.
-This is the first blog I have gone this long without talking about a specific "idiot incident".
-I hate mixed signals.
-I'm going to start calling Donald "Chocolate Bear" in reference to Scrubs (unless he kicks my ass for doing so).
-I like drinking.
-How is it already almost mid-February already?
-Today was the first time I bought underwear in (literally) I can't remember how long. With guys, they just kinda "appear" and "disappear" on their own.
-If I was a girl, my name would have been Jennifer. Jennifer Dapper. hmmm....I bet I would have been hot.
-My hair right now is literally the longest it has ever been. I don't care what "someone" says, I'm not cutting it b/c I want to see where it goes.
-I wish it were societically okay to tell someone that you don't like them, you wish they don't have a good weekend and that it was not nice to meet them.
-I am of "no political party". Everyone should be like me. And in that way more than others.
-I like drinking.
Well,s that 's all for now boys and girls. See you next time. Tell me what you think of this blog entry with your comments. I wonder if anyone will ever even read this...Hmmm.
Oh well.
AMF
Alright, I have 4 new blogs to read today from my myspace blog subscriptions, so I might as well return the favor to those people, plus it's been a couple days since my last and that was a stupid survey.
Beer is good. Real good. This blog is a little under the influence, so pardon any syntax/grammatical/spelling errors right off the bat.
Does everyone believe in karma? I think it kinda half-ass exists but not really (does that make sense?). Today was a prime example of it in action. Since Houston is known for red-light running, and it won't solve itself anytime soon, today when I was most of the way into an intersection when the light turned red I decided to contribute to it. Well, not more than 2 seconds after it happened a bird let loose the absolute biggest shit I have ever seen right in the middle of my winshield. I'm not talking "it ate a berry and then a marble came out", I'm saying a "12 oz. softball sized, lumpy, just ate a human baby--and I'm not talking newborn, but Gannon Montgomery--pee and poop mixture" landed right in the middle of my front windshield. I can't even funckin' look through it. It's so gloppy, that I didnt turn on my wipers b/c I knew it would schmear all over my winshield. It wasn't until a couple minutes later that I realized that if I didn't run the red light, my car wouldn't have been repainted with feces.
Yesterday I read the quote "Drugs are not the answer. Unless the question is 'what is not the answer?' ". Pure genius. I want to give the guy who made that up $5. Those of you who know me know that $5 is the maximum verbal commitment I will give/be..rrow/bargain/solicit in any situation.
I do have to give a shout-out kudo to Craig's List. For those of you who don't know: why not? It is a personals/job posting/free shit giving/want ad posting/ event planning super website that is specific to every major American city. Well, They recently have defended their position on not having banner and pop-ups all over their site. They only make money on job postings, but everything else is free and their users absolutely love it b/c they know that the site can easily sell out (like youtube) for MILLIONS of dollars. Thank you Craigslist.
I'm bringing back the "high-Five" People only seem to do it in sports now-a-days, so I want all of you who read this to "high five" at least 3 people today (or tomorrow if you are reading this at night). Just so you know, National High Five Day is coming up in a couple months. Better Practice up.
I'm a gambling man, but I don't think I would ever bet my name on a game. Maybe my hair, especially facial, but never my name. Some guy in Chicago is changing his name to "Peyton Manning" b/c the Bears lost.
Other random thoughts before I wrap this up:
-Why does Harrison Ford do that awkward "I'm too old to really jump" leap onto someone in every movie he does?
-I like drinking.
-I wish I could re-do my entire after-18 year old life knowing what I know now.
-How do 13% of Americans NOT know about global warming?
-WHY AM I ONLY GETTING FRIEND REQUESTS FROM FAKE "go to my webcam-I'm from nowhere and don't want kids-have only had my profile one day and Tom is my only friend" PROFILES? How and why are they asking me? Does this happen to everyone? Is it b/c I'm so hot?
-I should have (or should cureently) date[d] more.
-I wonder if I would have majored in advertising if I would have had an advertisement in the Superbowl this year.
-This is the first blog I have gone this long without talking about a specific "idiot incident".
-I hate mixed signals.
-I'm going to start calling Donald "Chocolate Bear" in reference to Scrubs (unless he kicks my ass for doing so).
-I like drinking.
-How is it already almost mid-February already?
-Today was the first time I bought underwear in (literally) I can't remember how long. With guys, they just kinda "appear" and "disappear" on their own.
-If I was a girl, my name would have been Jennifer. Jennifer Dapper. hmmm....I bet I would have been hot.
-My hair right now is literally the longest it has ever been. I don't care what "someone" says, I'm not cutting it b/c I want to see where it goes.
-I wish it were societically okay to tell someone that you don't like them, you wish they don't have a good weekend and that it was not nice to meet them.
-I am of "no political party". Everyone should be like me. And in that way more than others.
-I like drinking.
Well,s that 's all for now boys and girls. See you next time. Tell me what you think of this blog entry with your comments. I wonder if anyone will ever even read this...Hmmm.
Oh well.
AMF
random nothings, blogs, ATHF, cokes, and a Texas joke
OK, I'm in a weird mood today. Maybe it's the fact that the driving in Te-jas is so horrible that I only drove to school and back and nearly got hit about half a dozen times today. Maybe it's the Chinagirl with which I work wore the same outfit for the 4th straight day and always gets in my way and leaves the fridge open. Or, maybe it's the couple martini's I've had tonight.
Of course, there can't ever be a blog where I don't talk about something that pisses me off, so I'll go ahead and get it out of the way: The one magazine to which I have a subscription provided me a code to download a free song on iTunes. I put it in, but the site said something like "server was down-try again later", so like the gullible American I am, I try again later and it says "you've already used this code". Son of a bitch! They got me. I think it was all a big ploy to trick people for no good reason. Of course, this leads me to think....why didn't I think of this first?
This leads me to my next topic was that every blog has a basis. For example, I can't stand stupid people, so mine normally revolves around me getting my frustrations out on them before I calm down to talk about more down-to-earth stuff. I didn't realize this until someone mentioned it this week, while this whole time I (and Tony with music) have been [a] perfect example[s] of this. Very intriguing. Make sure to add me to your myspace blog subscriptions, but see if you can find the basis in all of your other common-read blogs.
I do have to give my hats off to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force advertising ploy that happened this week. For those who don't know, ATHF is the most Fucked-up show on TV (notice I didnt abbreviate this time b/c it is so true). It revolves around a milkshake, meatball, and box of fries hanging out in New Jersey. Quality!
Anywho, the ad wizards decided to put one of the characters in LED lights on a circuit-board and placed them randomly around big cities in America, particularly on highways. Of course, there is nothing on it that say the name of the show or anything, but once people thought they were bombs, the story really blew up (pardon the pun). This caused them to get more advertisement than they ever expected and, what is even better, the judge today ruled that there is a good chance that they won't have enough evidence to show it was a "threat", so they may have gotten away with it completely! Meanwhile, this whole time, the average person is saying "what the F--- is ATHF and why do I want to watch personified food hanging out in New Jersey?" GENIUS!!!!
I read someone's profile today that said "I love proper grammer". It wasn't sarcastic or meant to be oxymoronic. Good job, idiot.
It's 1:20. I've got time for (at least) one more martini before Bob Ross comes on. I'll close this out with a Texas joke (one of millions). AMF!
-------------------------
Here is a joke I read today from the state that considers drunk driving a sport:
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in
Houston , Texas.
After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the
parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After
what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different
vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.
He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons
left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started the car, switched the
wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the
blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then
switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little
and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other
patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the
parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now
started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the
driver over and administered a breathalyzer test.
To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that
the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said,
"I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud TEXAN. "Tonight I'm the
designated decoy."
---I didn't say it was going to be that funny.
Of course, there can't ever be a blog where I don't talk about something that pisses me off, so I'll go ahead and get it out of the way: The one magazine to which I have a subscription provided me a code to download a free song on iTunes. I put it in, but the site said something like "server was down-try again later", so like the gullible American I am, I try again later and it says "you've already used this code". Son of a bitch! They got me. I think it was all a big ploy to trick people for no good reason. Of course, this leads me to think....why didn't I think of this first?
This leads me to my next topic was that every blog has a basis. For example, I can't stand stupid people, so mine normally revolves around me getting my frustrations out on them before I calm down to talk about more down-to-earth stuff. I didn't realize this until someone mentioned it this week, while this whole time I (and Tony with music) have been [a] perfect example[s] of this. Very intriguing. Make sure to add me to your myspace blog subscriptions, but see if you can find the basis in all of your other common-read blogs.
I do have to give my hats off to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force advertising ploy that happened this week. For those who don't know, ATHF is the most Fucked-up show on TV (notice I didnt abbreviate this time b/c it is so true). It revolves around a milkshake, meatball, and box of fries hanging out in New Jersey. Quality!
Anywho, the ad wizards decided to put one of the characters in LED lights on a circuit-board and placed them randomly around big cities in America, particularly on highways. Of course, there is nothing on it that say the name of the show or anything, but once people thought they were bombs, the story really blew up (pardon the pun). This caused them to get more advertisement than they ever expected and, what is even better, the judge today ruled that there is a good chance that they won't have enough evidence to show it was a "threat", so they may have gotten away with it completely! Meanwhile, this whole time, the average person is saying "what the F--- is ATHF and why do I want to watch personified food hanging out in New Jersey?" GENIUS!!!!
I read someone's profile today that said "I love proper grammer". It wasn't sarcastic or meant to be oxymoronic. Good job, idiot.
It's 1:20. I've got time for (at least) one more martini before Bob Ross comes on. I'll close this out with a Texas joke (one of millions). AMF!
-------------------------
Here is a joke I read today from the state that considers drunk driving a sport:
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in
Houston , Texas.
After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the
parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After
what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different
vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.
He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons
left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started the car, switched the
wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the
blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then
switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little
and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other
patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the
parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now
started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the
driver over and administered a breathalyzer test.
To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that
the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said,
"I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud TEXAN. "Tonight I'm the
designated decoy."
---I didn't say it was going to be that funny.
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